ME/CFS & Fibromyalgia are so unpredictable – just when I think I have a healthy balance figured out for my life – WHAM! – I’m hit with yet another flare and find that nope – I was wrong – I guess I can’t do that. I get to where I start to feel comfortable, start to slightly feel like a routine is somewhere in sight and CFS & Fibromyalgia will remind me once more that they are the bosses in my life and that they rule.
I have always said the only thing predictable about ME/CFS & Fibromyalgia is the fact that they are so unpredictable. It has been such a long, hard struggle trying to find a balance in life that I can cope with and that my family can cope with. I think some of the struggle to find a healthy balance comes with the fact that my work schedule is never the same and that it changes from week to week. My husband and son are also not huge fans of my work schedule much of the time and sometimes the hours I work will cause some extra stress for me because they don’t like the hours I’m scheduled. As we all know, stress of any kind, even a tiny bit of extra stress, is really harmful for ME/CFS & Fibro patients. It makes our bodies go on overdrive and can send us into flares like crazy.
I have worked really hard and have strived really hard over the past 20-plus years to try and get to where I can find a healthy balance with living with these illnesses but I always feel like I’m failing and like I’m fighting a losing battle. I know that there has to be a way to do it, there are people out there who are doing it, but I just can’t seem to get it down. I’m trying to work, take care of my family, take care of my own health, take care of my home and it all gets overwhelming for me and I end up not being able to accomplish much at all. My husband says I do a lot considering how sick I am but to me, I feel like I don’t get anything done. When things start piling up that need done, I really feel how off-balanced life is because of being sick so much of the time.
Life is short, I realize this, and I need to enjoy what I can do when I am able to do it -and I do. I guess the Type A in me will always just want to do more!