Here in PA, we have been having some really bad weather over the past week – two blizzards within 5 days. That is a lot of snow! The snow itself was bad enough but add to that the wind and the size of the snowdrifts have been unbelievable! I was supposed to work last Saturday morning from 7 a.m. – 11 a.m. and my husband told me the night before I wouldn’t be able to get out of the driveway in the morning and he was right. I got up at 5 a.m. to look outside and there were 4 ft. snowdrifts around our house – I couldn’t even get the door open to get outside if I wanted to.
Because I have to give my job a 2-hour notice if I can’t make it in for a shift, I went ahead and called in and told the night manager, who is on duty until 6:30 a.m. daily, that I wouldn’t be able to get in to work my shift because we were snowed in. He acted as though he didn’t believe me and he was rather rude to me about the whole thing. When I went into work Sunday evening, I found out that the managers were telling people that if they really wanted to get to work, they would have found a way. I’m sorry, but I am not risking my health, which is already bad enough, to go out and shovel through 4 ft. snowdrifts so that I can earn a couple of dollars. It is not worth it to me. I will also not put my husband’s health at risk in order to get into work. Someone who has had 7 heart attacks and open heart surgery does not need to be out in weather conditions like that just so I can go and take crap off of people for a few hours. NO WAY – NO HOW – I REFUSE TO DO IT!
I surprise myself sometimes now when I find myself saying and thinking things like this because at one time, I would have done whatever it took to get into work, even if it meant risking my health shoveling through large amounts of snow or driving on snow and ice-covered roads. I think so differently now and I often think that if I would have had this attitude 20 years ago, I wouldn’t have ruined my health and CFS might not have ever been part of my life.
I am glad I finally wisened up, got a grip, and was able to put things in perspective and can now realize what is important and what isn’t. Life is so much easier when you don’t worry about pleasing everyone or worry about what everyone else thinks of you. Even as sick as I am now, I still enjoy life much more than I did when I was a workaholic. Back then, I basically lived to make everyone happy, including my boss, and I was miserable. I felt like I had to be all things to everyone and the real me was lost. I felt as though everything was my responsibility no matter what it was and I could find a way to justify to myself that everything was my responsibility.
If I could go back in time and change things, I definitely would do a lot differently. Wouldn’t we all? I would not have ruined my health for people and things because guess what? Those people are no longer in my life that I worked so hard to please and the things I worked for are no longer mine either. What I have to show for all of that hard work, stress, strain, and thousands upon thousands of hours of work is a sick, diseased body that can never be anything close to what it once was.
My son has also helped me put life into perspective and he has been the most precious, glorious blessing to me. When I look at him, I want to do better – I want to be better. I want to be healthy and well because he deserves a mom like that. But we can’t go back and change what we’ve done. The only thing we can do is learn from our mistakes, move forward, and help other people to not do the same thing to themselves. That is what I hope someone gets from reading this.
I think you did a very great decision. Health is always being the first priority others than else. We couldn’t satisfied everybody around us if we always cared what people think about us. We feel better if we think about our family first. Our health is our precious time. Do enjoy it. I’ll do the same if I in your shoes.
Hopefully you and your family in happiness.
While health is wealth most of our people no good health and it is the reality that they have no wealth to keep health well. To keep good health we also need wealth. Health is wealth? Not always that!
Kudos to you for standing up for what is the most important aspect in your life..keeping healthy! Sometimes the good we try to do for others ends up sending us into a downward spiral to days in bed. I find that my children who are now 11&17 learn compassion and caring from the hard work we do for others and the debilitating days of sickness spent in bed trying to heal our bodies. I think they learn to not put themselves first when they see you trying so hard to do what is right & the consequences of doing so. Life is a series of tradeoffs. You are wise to listen and protect your body for the sake of your family. Great job!
You’re short staffed—for the second year. Your company is getting reorganized—for the third time since you’ve been there. Your department’s budget has been cut—again. Sure, maybe you’re just overdue for a new job, but in the meantime, the day-to-day stress you feel at work is becoming overwhelming. And it feels like all you can do is think about work.You’re short staffed—for the second year. Your company is getting reorganized—for the third time since you’ve been there. Your department’s budget has been cut—again. Sure, maybe you’re just overdue for a new job, but in the meantime, the day-to-day stress you feel at work is becoming overwhelming. And it feels like all you can do is think about work.
Before you can plot your next move, you need to get some perspective. After all, while reducing on-the-job stress has its merits, there comes a point where your best stress-lowering strategy is just to take your focus off your work life and get back in touch with the world outside the office.
Not only is that often the prerequisite for setting things right in your professional life, it’s often the path of least resistance that you need to take: Sometimes work-related stressors are simply out of your control. If that’s ever the case, try taking these steps to regain your mental footing.
1. WRAP UP BEFORE HEADING HOME
People who feel stressed about work tend to think a great deal about it even when they’re not working. One of the best ways to fend off the feeling that you’re working 24/7 is to limit the mental time you give to your professional life. Easier said than done, yes, but a simple end-of-day wrap-up can help.
Vocalizing your negativity releases stress chemicals, both in you and the person listening to you.
Before unplugging for the night, look over the past day’s work (stresses and all) and tie up any loose ends you can. Then plan the next day–even if all that means is setting expectations. This keeps you from thinking everything left undone during your commute, over dinner, and while you’re brushing your teeth before bed. In fact, this simple strategy may even improve your sleep since it gives your natural impulse to ruminate something to focus on. If you can, try shutting off any work-related email or phone notifications after hours.
Although it can seem justified, and even helpful, to complain about work, that’s pretty much guaranteed to perpetually heighten your stress. Instead, run through a frustrating event in your head just once–in order to learn from it and find any meaning that may be helpful the next time. Have that conversation with just one or two trusted colleagues, and leave it at that. Then move on.
Rehashing your frustrations over and over again with anyone within earshot will invariably make the situation worse. In fact, vocalizing your negativity releases stress chemicals, both in you and in the person listening to you. That makes whatever’s bothering you expand in your mind, so the more you talk about how terrible something is at work, the more terrible things you’ll actually find to stress you out–not just at work but everywhere. If you can’t talk about work without getting negative, come up with a convenient deflection like, “Work’s fine. But what I’m really interested in right now is
3. GO TO BED
Everything seems worse when you’re sleep deprived. There’s a strong link between sleep deprivation and psychiatric conditions like depression, anxiety disorders, and ADHD, according to Harvard Medical School researchers. So try to nudge your bedtime forward a bit—even an hour’s more sleep can make a big difference. Or just give yourself permission to wake up later–or take a nap during your lunch break. Even 30-minute naps can reduce stress hormones and boost the immune system.
4. GET UP AND MOVE
As little as five minutes of aerobic exercise has been found to reduce anxiety. That means that a short break to take a walk–or a longer one to work out, do yoga, or play a sport–can have a massive return on investment in terms of your mental health.
According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, “Aerobic exercise has been shown to decrease overall levels of tension, elevate and stabilize mood, improve sleep, and improve self-esteem.” So if you want to reduce stress at work, the answer isn’t just to force yourself away from your desk–it may be to ditch the office specifically for the gym, pool, or ball court.
5. BE BY YOURSELF FOR A WHILE
If you’re an introvert, time alone is essential to refuel. But even extroverts, especially those with people-oriented jobs, need solitary time to reduce stress hormones. In her book The Willpower Instinct, author Kelly McGonigal notes that some of the most effective stress-relief strategies are solo affairs. It can be tempting to think, “Great, I have some time alone, I should get something done.” But when you’re overwhelmed with work-related stress, taking that time to recharge and do some other low-impact, solo activity–like reading or listening to music–may be the better option.
But don’t spend too much time alone. According to John Cacioppo, a neuroscientist at the University of Chicago and coauthor of Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection, loneliness has a link to stress hormones as well as immune function and cardiovascular health.