I love my son more than life itself, but the last couple of weeks I have been having tremendous feelings of needing to have my own space and wanting desperately to be alone – just for a couple of days. I feel guilty feeling this way, yet I am sure I am not alone with these feelings.
I am really struggling with depression today and I just want to run away – I can’t help it. I think with the mixture of no longer being able to work, not feeling well most of the time, the lack of money that we’ve had, and just plain being bored has all manifested into this huge need to get out of here.
Fortunately, my husband understands and I was crying to him on the phone this morning. I feel as though I am stuck in a catch 22 – like today for example. I feel bad enough that I do not have the energy to really get involved in anything, yet I don’t feel bad enough to know that I am going stir crazy. Does that make sense? I am hoping others will respond to let me know that they are going, or have went through the same emotions.
I only have one year until my son begins school and I have made a vow that I will not get involved in anything heavily (I want to take some college courses when he starts school) because I want to spend this last year with him. Yet in the process I feel as though I am losing myself and going crazy. I have also not been sleeping well for quite a while now, so I am sure that the lack of sleep is affecting me too. Any advice I would greatly appreciate!