I am not a fan of the summer temperatures at all but I really do not look forward to the fall and winter months. The changes in the seasons, temperatures, humidity, and lack of sunlight all make my ME/CFS symptoms flare like crazy. Typically the months between October and March are the worst for me and I can expect every year to decline dramatically during this time.
This year has been particularly worse because I was feeling a lot better over the summer months due to my diet and my now almost 40 pound weight loss and when the seasonal changes hit, it was really a drastic change from feeling really good to really bad practically overnight. The colder temperatures are also bothering me more now because my thyroid levels are under control so I’m not always so hot and now the cold really bothers me – a lot. I was at my son’s final soccer game yesterday and the cold and wind whipped through my bones so severely that I almost left and didn’t stay to finish watching him play. I minded it that much. I was even bundled up and I still felt like I was going to freeze and the pain in my back, elbows and knees was excruciating.
I wasn’t able to go trick-or-treating with my son last night because I was feeling so poorly and he was disappointed and that made me feel even worse. I tried to explain to him that I was at his family fun night at school on Friday night (when I wasn’t feeling well), and I was at his game yesterday (when I REALLY wasn’t doing well). I could not go trick-or-treating. I tried to explain to him that I can’t do everything and he is lucky that I made it to do those two things with him. There is no way that our children can understand when most adults can’t grasp what we go through.
I have also been having a lot of trouble sleeping again at night and my sleep cycle is all messed up again like it used to be. Over the summer months I was doing really well and I was getting rest and sleeping fairly normal (as normal as possible for someone like me!) and now I’m up until 2:00 a.m. and 3:00 a.m. again like I used to be. It’s a vicious cycle that I can’t seem to escape no matter what I try or how hard I work to try and free myself of.
Today was another particularly hard day, as all my body wanted to do was sleep on and off most of the day. Now that it is almost 8:00 p.m. at night, I am starting to feel like doing something and getting some energy when I should be starting to wind down.
What is depressing is that it is only the beginning of the colder season. Fall has just begun, winter is around the corner and I’m already having trouble coping. What am I going to do in January and February?