Many thanks to Improved Life for including this post in their nineteenth edition of their blog carnival.
How many times have you felt as though you needed to pretend that you were someone else or that you weren’t sick? Why do we do this to ourselves? When I was high up in direct sales I was taught to “fake it” and that if any kind of sickness or pain was present I was to smile and show enthusiasm despite feeling like hell. I am also guilty of trying to pretend like everything is okay in front of friends and family too. You would not believe how many people have said to me that they would never have known that I was as sick as I am if it weren’t for me talking about this website or if someone hadn’t told them.
Do you know what I learned from trying to pretend to be something that I wasn’t? I ended up feeling pressured, stressed out, sicker and felt like I was always trying to hide my true self. In the long run by pretending to be normal I was just making myself sicker.
I feel it is so important to be honest, but you don’t want to overdo it and drag people down by giving them every detail of your miserable day or your illness. There are those who overdo it and totally live to complain and have other people feel sorry for them. I’m not talking about doing that. You can be honest with yourself and others without making others feel like it is a burden to listen to you or to be around you.
I am simply referring to just being yourself and not trying so hard to look like a hero, or strong, or feel that it is necessary to put on a show. Just be you. If you are having a bad day, don’t try to waste extra energy that you don’t have to pretend that you are happy and perfect. Just be you and know that it’s okay.
This post is part of the How to Cope with Pain Blog Carnival.
What a great post! I know I tried for years to pretend that I didn’t have any health problems. (I have a Muscular Dystrophy, well really it’s an atrophy but we won’t go there right now.) Though I could fool some people, what good was that doing? Once they believed I was fine, I could never be myself around them. I think with age though, we learn that it doesn’t really matter what others think. So, we get a few close and strong friends who really know us and that’s all we need.
PS – I changed my blog name/URL. Could I get you to change it on your blogroll? It was Your Best Life, but now it’s Vibrant Healthy U and it’s at http://www.VibrantHealthyU.com. Thanks!
Hi Angie! I have changed your website address. Thanks for the post!
I had a serious accident 6 years ago and have multiple cervical herniated discs that cause severe pain. I have difficulty socializing at all, and have no friends anymore. I dont complain and I don’t tell anyone how I really feel. I tried in the past and my family just doesn’t understand, nor does my husband so I remain quiet. Now that I’m working on my 6th year living like this I have dental problems from grinding my teeth, and stomach & esophagus problems from to much acid in my stomach from being in chronic pain. I think the reason I have trouble making friends is that people can see “pain” written all over my face so they stay away. Also I have trouble relating to anyone anymore since I am the only one who is like this in my little world. Its hard to “just be me” cause the “me” is drowning in pain most of the time and inbetween pain periods I am exhausted and recovering, like sleeping or getting caught up on stuff since I’ve been in bed. I’ve found myself caught in a horrible cycle that I am having trouble breaking out of. Can anyone help? or give me any advice on how I can get out of this isolated type of living? I feel like a hermit.