I guess I have been feeling down this week and I know – would I like some cheese to go with that whine? I have been totally feeling like crap and no matter what I do it’s not helping. I hate feeling this bad – but I hate sitting in front of the television even more. I like to watch TV, but I don’t like it being my life. When I am feeling this bad though there isn’t a whole lot else for me to do. So if I’m too sick to do anything what do you think my son is doing? He is in front of the television too because I’m too miserable to do anything with him.
Yesterday I did take him swimming at my SIL’s house. I was feeling so poor when I woke up, but I had promised him that we would go and I didn’t want to let him down. So I lathered us both up with piles of sunscreen and off we went. Needless to say, by the time we left her house, I was so miserable I could hardly stand to walk.
We came home, he went to the computer and I crashed on the couch. I could not move – I couldn’t do anything. I also notice when I am feeling this bad I will have many, many dreams. It’s like I don’t sleep for long periods of time, but when I am sleeping I am continually dreaming and they are some really weird ones too.
Tomorrow I have to go and have the nuclear stess test done – if I am still this miserable today how in the world will I ever make it on a treadmill? But I’m hoping having this test done will either prove or disprove the cardiomyopathy theories out there surrounding CFS. I just hope I can make it long enough for them to gather the data they need. Until tomorrow…